“I love how cottagecore this is!”, said one attendee.
Photo by Liv Gilbert
Members of La Jolla Homesteading took to the streets this week to oppose public backlash toward both their cause and livelihood. Their recruitment fair repudiates many local protests against their radical stance on homesteading and settlement, which La Jolla Homesteading claims to be a “gross misrepresentation” of their views and impact. During their demonstration, the homesteaders professed their passion for their homes and shared plans to beautify their many project-homes around the world.
In a statement given at the event, organizer Ken Esset said, “These people really need to learn to care for the land. It takes vision that frankly those people lack.” Esset continued, “We are just taking untended land and providing the stewardship needed to turn these deserts into a livable place.” Their booths advertised amenities ranging from greener lawns to the establishment of Ruth’ sChris Steak Houses in the Near East. “I’m so proud of our involvement in the Orient,” Esset stated. “It’s really for the betterment of everyone there; we’re growing a garden in the desert.”
This demonstration attracted counterprotesters, some of whom attempted to derail the conversations on economic and environmental development. In Esset’s public response following the dispersal of the “detractors,” he reasserted that “La Jolla Homesteading stands for the development of the barren wastelands these desperate hordes seem to crawl out from. They should be more respectful of the hard work it took to reclaim our homes and stake our claim upon the virgin soil. The blood, sweat, and tears I have spilled will not be wasted upon some keytar warrior. I fought my way up from the suburbs of Columbus, Ohio, to the streets of Jaffa [sic], and I will not be slighted for it. Anyone can wave keys at me. Anyone can waltz in and claim heritage. Anyone can say they own a home with- out truly caring for it. It takes Western principles, however, to truly live in a home and elevate an unlovable wasteland to a worthy haven. We brave homesteaders are assailed on all fronts by these detestable leeches and hangers-on.
“These cretins have crawled out from whatever rock they live under becausethey think they have a right to my home. If you wanted to ‘return’ you shouldn’t have left it,” Esset continued.
While responses from La Jolla residents have been largely positive, a presentation on the many uses of recently cleared olive trees faced delays following an accidental immolation in which woman appeared to have fallen onto a campfire started as part of the demonstration. While peace officers promptly removed her from the event, many attendees were reportedly “left on edge by her strange gibberings,” but event staff were quick to provide counseling to those affected.
In spite of this disturbance, the homesteaders finished their seminar: “How to Retrofit a DJI Drone for Justice,” and concluded their event without further issue or interference. During their closing statement, Esset reiterated his commitment to the homesteading way of life. “I will fight for the Western way, no matter what those vermin tell me,” he affirmed. “I fight to secure my children a safe future, and no horde of barbarians will deter me from bettering the Near East. Together we will re-sod the dust bowl of the Middle East, and return prosperity to the Orient.” He concluded, “Our defense forces will expel the uncivil, and build an enlightened Eden in the desert.”
