March 12, 2025 Avoid our podcast. Enjoy the written word. Volume XXXI Issue V

Top Ten Gentle Parenting Techniques

Top Ten

Written by: The MQ

March 12, 2025

  1. Let the wife parent for you
  2. Download spyware on their phones
  3. Allow inter-sibling hierarchy to form
  4. Raise them to be your best friend
  5. Hold back all your anger until they’re 18
  6. Fight uncooperative teachers until they cry
  7. Let them take everything in the divorce
  8. Breastfeed them until college
  9. Let them hit their siblings
  10. Never say no
The MQ

The premier satire magazine at UC San Diego.

Last modified: March 11, 2025

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