“Let’s show them what we’re made of!” said one counterprotester.
Photo by Erica Rosslee
On the third day of last month’s California Women’s Convention, self-proclaimed “feminist activist” Chastity Parris shocked the audience with her keynote speech on the “overabundance of breasts” in today’s society.
“I recently watched The Substance, and let me tell you, ladies: I am DISGUSTED!” Parris exclaimed. A screen behind her projected an image of Demi Moore’s breasts, next to a graph depicting the film’s box office statistics. “This is disgraceful — a movie needlessly putting a woman’s [body] on display as if she were some whore. I was told I would be watching a movie about beauty standards, but when I entered the theater, all I saw was porn. For a movie called The Substance, there was no substance in this at all!”
At the end of her speech, Parris announced she would be starting a movement to combat this “pressing issue plaguing the minds of young feminists.” The movement, which Parris dubbed the Battle Against Risqué Feminism (BARF), would be focusing its efforts on the La Jolla community, already negotiating with UC San Diego administrators to implement modesty squares on all depictions of the female body in art history classes. When asked about her motivations to target the university, Parris explained that college campuses serve as the “breeding ground for such nefarious activities.”
According to the campaign website, barfoutsex.com, the group has three main goals for the upcoming year: ban any references to sex in future La Jolla Playhouse productions, bar student entry into Black’s Beach, and implement a “modesty first” clothing line at the on-campus Target.
Currently, the BARF movement boasts more than 50 dedicated members who recently organized a protest on library walk to garner further support.
“I’m here today to educate students on the dangers of normalizing sex in their lives,” BARF member Prudence Thomas explained. “When I was a child, my mother taught me that ‘vagina’ was a really [bad word]. So it’s pretty weird when people talk about it nowadays, because it’s kind of … gross and uncomfortable.” Thomas described that their group isn’t just a political movement, but that they also cultivate a “lifestyle of decency.”
Adalia Vahj, a fourth-year ERC Literary Arts major and Human Biology double major, expressed great concern over the trajectory of this campaign. “I just don’t understand why you would be against normalizing the female body,” she said. “Isn’t that like, what feminists are fighting for?”
Vahj is not the only student who has voiced uncertainty about the BARF movement’s credibility. Others, such as second-year Vy Brayter, took to social media to express concerns about the actions of the movement. “I actually tried joining BARF,” Brayter explained. “But when I introduced myself, they couldn’t seem to get past my name. They were all either giggling or just kind of going ‘eeauuughh.’ Which is kind of ridiculous, you know? I was named after my dead grandmother, also Vy.”
In a “not-so-shocking” turn of events, the UCSD student body came together this week to counterprotest the BARF rally, taking to Sun God Lawn in a fully nude presentation. The organizers, who chose to remain anonymous, stated that their purpose was to “stop [BARF’s] fascist censorship of a very human and normal part of life.” Hundreds of students came out undressed from head to toe, holding signs painted with phrases such as “BOUNCE THEM TITTIES” and “PUSSY. LET. ME. SAY. IT.”
Seemingly moved by their display, Chastity Parris stood atop Sun God Lawn and stripped down to her socks. “Sisters, I have seen the power in your movement. I, Chastity P. Parris, join you in your beautiful bareness!”
