All Top Tens


  1. All the blood
  2. You cleaned too rigorously and dissolved the top of the floor
  3. There's no training wheel equivalent when it comes to property ownership
  4. The Homeowners' Association doesn't like the length of your bushes
  5. Avant-garde art clearly isn't for everyone
  6. Too much vigorous hip movement
  7. There were practical issues with sledgehammer soccer that didn't reveal themselves until after you started
  8. Duct tape doesn't fix everything
  9. "Hey, watch me puth this fuckin' chair through the wall"
  10. "Whoa, that fuckin' chair's through the wall"

  1. You're still wearing your letterman jacket four years later
  2. Most of your conversations with friends begin with, "Hey, remember that time in precalc..."
  3. You occasionally email your 10th grade history teacher
  4. Your parents used to tell all of their friends about you
  5. You still list extracurriculars on your resume
  6. You still get that thrill when you click "Yes, I'm Over 18" on porn sites
  7. Now you send all of the friend requests
  8. Your greatest accomplishment was being on honor roll in high school
  9. You're the only one looking forward to your high school reunion
  10. You're still riding the high off those AP credits

  1. They both failed you
  2. Sprung up on you in the middle of your biology class
  3. Still surprisingly good at making you feel insecure
  4. You have a new one every quarter
  5. Despite everything, your mom says you should approach them with a positive attitude
  6. You accidentally stabbed them with a pencil
  7. You didn't know you had one
  8. It's probably their fault that you had a stabbing pain in your side
  9. The product of a nasty divorce
  10. Full of lies

  1. You spent a majority of the time being hopelessly lost
  2. Someone keeps playing "Who Let the Dogs Out?" and it stopped being funny hours ago
  3. Parking sucks
  4. Six elementary school field trips showed up at noon
  5. The enclosures seem like they're open and allowing the creatures to roam free, but in reality they're locked up
  6. A fine example of competition for resources
  7. Newly independent kids are trying to separate themselves from their parents
  8. There is an overwhelming smell of sunscreen and sweat
  9. The souvenirs are ridiculously overpriced
  10. Just a bunch of filthy stinkin' animals

  1. Driving five over the speed limit
  2. Purposefully stepping on cracks
  3. Avoiding having to call your grandparents
  4. Competitive sleeping
  5. Going outside with wet hair
  6. Embezzlement
  7. Tightrope walking between an A- and a B+
  8. Healthy communication with your dad
  9. Base jumping into a volcano
  10. Going in the water less than 30 minutes after eating
  11. Making Minecraft tutorial videos
  12. Cup stacking
  13. Bungee masturbating
  14. Having a sleepover with the opposite sex
  15. Lying to your mother