Cole Johnson – The MQ https://themq.org UC San Diego's Premiere Satire Newspaper Tue, 10 Mar 2026 05:40:58 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=7.0 https://themq.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/10/cropped-image-2018-10-16-32x32.png Cole Johnson – The MQ https://themq.org 32 32 EPA Introduces ‘Sexy’ Mascots https://themq.org/2026/03/articles/news/epa-introduces-sexy-mascots/ Wed, 11 Mar 2026 18:00:00 +0000 https://themq.org/?p=12777 Riots Break Out in Aftermath of Little League Softball Championships https://themq.org/2026/02/articles/news/riots-break-out-in-aftermath-of-little-league-softball-championships/ Wed, 04 Feb 2026 19:00:00 +0000 https://themq.org/?p=12617 Creature Now From Pool Due to Ocean Acidity https://themq.org/2025/11/articles/news/creature-now-from-pool-due-to-ocean-acidity/ Wed, 26 Nov 2025 19:00:00 +0000 https://themq.org/?p=12417 Entity Projecting Waves of Apathy ‘Not a Big Deal,’ White House Says https://themq.org/2025/10/articles/news/entity-projecting-waves-of-apathy-not-a-big-deal-white-house-says/ Wed, 29 Oct 2025 18:00:00 +0000 https://themq.org/?p=12233 Babies to Be Banned From UCSD https://themq.org/2025/09/articles/news/babies-to-be-banned-from-ucsd/ Wed, 24 Sep 2025 18:00:00 +0000 https://themq.org/?p=12090 UCSD Replaces Library Walk with Endlessly Shifting Labyrinth https://themq.org/2025/05/articles/news/ucsd-replaces-library-walk-withendlessly-shifting-labyrinth/ Wed, 28 May 2025 18:00:00 +0000 https://themq.org/?p=11885 Weather Forecast Now Shows Chances of CEO Assassination https://themq.org/2025/02/articles/news/weather-forecast-now-shows-chances-of-ceo-assassination/ Wed, 05 Feb 2025 19:00:00 +0000 https://themq.org/?p=11439 No, Just Because You Uppercut Me Does Not Mean You’re ‘Punching Up’ https://themq.org/2024/11/articles/opinion/editorial/no-just-because-you-uppercut-me-does-not-mean-youre-punching-up/ Wed, 27 Nov 2024 19:00:00 +0000 https://themq.org/?p=11234 UCSD to Ban Witch Trials https://themq.org/2024/09/articles/news/ucsd-to-ban-witch-trials/ Wed, 25 Sep 2024 18:00:00 +0000 https://themq.org/?p=10744 Family of Four Moves Next to Bomb Factory, Surprised by Frequent Explosions https://themq.org/2024/05/articles/news/family-of-four-moves-next-to-bomb-factory-surprised-by-frequent-explosions/ Wed, 29 May 2024 18:00:00 +0000 https://themq.org/?p=10626