Area Woman "Woulda, Coulda, but Definitely Shouldn'tva"
Volume 23 Issue 7 - June 7, 2017
Photo by: Jessica Ma
Local woman Vanessa Mræl intended to perform an action, had the capacity to perform that action, but decided judiciously that performing such an action was a bad idea.
Mræl had planned this action at least three weeks in advance, and until the day of, had no qualms about it. “Oh, I totally woulda,” she said, after not doing it. “If there’s one time in my life that I woulda said that I woulda, that woulda been it. I pretty much announced it that I woulda, and I wouldn’tva said that I woulda if I didn’t mean that I woulda.”
“She definitely did say on multiple occasions that she ‘totally woulda,’” said Jerry Slinney, one of Mræl’s close friends. “She told me Monday when we had lunch together. She coulda told me at the party on Friday, but she was too busy telling everybody else. And I’m guessing she woulda told me on the Tuesday after that, as she was showing me her new knife, but I completely couldn’tva heard because that woulda been the week I lost my hearing.”
As Mræl knew in advance of her plan to proceed with the course of action, she additionally prepared herself physically and mentally for the task ahead.
“The reason I knew how much I coulda is because, well, I got myself ready!” she justified. “I wouldn’tva said that I coulda unless I coulda backed up that I coulda, and if I didn’t think I couldn’tva, I don’t think I woulda even gotten as far as I did.”
“Initially, I didn’t think she couldn’tva at all, which is why I wasn’t concerned about her saying that she woulda, even though I recommended that she shouldt’va said she woulda even if she coulda,” commented Eric Michelson, Mræl’s lawyer. “So I was happy to take her on as my client because I didn’t think she was serious about saying she woulda, but with all the physical training and premeditation, it got to the point where I thought she coulda.”
However, Mræl did choose to not proceed with the action, citing it as an error in her own judgment.
“Making mistakes is a part of being human. When ya realize that ya shouldnt’va, despite knowing that ya woulda and ya coulda, ya gotta stop right in ya tracks,” Mræl mused.
“Saying ya woulda and coulda are easy, because if ya wouldn’tva, ya just wouldn’tva, and if ya coudln’tva, ya wouldn’tva because ya just couldn’tva. But the very least, before ya pull the trigger, ya gotta think about whether ya shoulda or shouldn’tva. That’s a much harder question to answer, and so many more people shoulda remembered whether they shoulda or shouldn’tva instead of just whether they woulda or coulda or wouldn’tva or couldn’tva. A part of ya has always, always gotta consider whether ya shoulda or shouldn’tva.”