Bottomless Pit Found Not To Be Bottomless

Hannah Rosenblatt

Volume 24 Issue 5 - March 14, 2018

A small pebble was tossed into a large, seemingly bottomless pit early last week by third grade student Darius Macondo. The pebble has reportedly not yet reached the bottom with no sounds or splashes heard.

Darius was hoping that an eventual pitter or a muffled pater would give him some comfort in the universe and resolve the whole matter, but no such sound emerged. He recruited more students who listened in shifts for a plop or a splish, but none came back to class aghast when they failed to sense a semblance of sound.

As days turned to almost a week and spirits turned meek, this small group of kids felt themselves falling further and tumbling longer down the pit, upturning supposed physical constraints. Their aim was modest and their intentions pure, but they quickly got caught in the mysterious lure of a forever falling piece of rock.

They became more obsessive. Their parents claimed they were regressive, and they hoped that an echoing sound would put the experiment to rest. They tried their best to forget and continue, but they couldn’t pursue anything quite as divine. When finally, at press time, Darius peered over the pit, trying to get closer to hear the rock hit, he jumped back in wonder as he heard from way down there a definite, finite plop.